A couple of years ago, my husband and I took our first steps towards getting married, and we were looking for something a bit more intimate.
“What’s the best way to have sex with your husband?”
My husband, who was a married father of two, replied, “I dunno.”
My husband wasn’t looking to change his mind.
He was just looking for some guidance.
“The best thing I can do is have sex and hope he gets better,” he said.
He had prostate cancer.
He knew it.
It was a rare disease, but it had happened to him.
A few years earlier, my brother had prostate surgery.
My brother and I were so thrilled to get married and celebrate with him.
After the surgery, he had some of the best sex he’d ever had with his partner.
But in a year and a half, my partner had to have a hysterectomy because of the tumor that had grown in his prostate.
It wasn’t that he wanted to have another surgery, but the doctor said, “He has cancer.”
My brother, who has had prostate cancers before, knew he needed to take it easy for a while.
I didn’t want him to get worse.
So we decided to make our wedding vows a bit different.
The night before our wedding, we would go out to dinner with friends.
I’d brought my boyfriend to our home for dinner.
The evening was filled with wine and food, and I told my boyfriend I was going to ask him to share my vows.
“I can’t do that,” he replied.
“Why would you want to have dinner with someone you don’t like?”
He was adamant about it.
He also said, I’m sorry if I don’t share my vow with you, but I won’t say anything else about my health.
“Don’t worry, you can’t tell anyone I said this,” I told him.
“But you have to keep your vow,” he told me.
I said, Okay, I’ll keep my vow.
It doesn’t matter what the doctor says.
I can’t stop him from doing anything he wants to do.
It’s his decision.
He can’t take that away from me.
That night, I started to think, Is there anything I can say to get him to keep his vow?
I think it’s important to know if you’re going to have to have any kind of commitment to him and make any kind or amount of promises.
I had some concerns with my health and how much my boyfriend would want to share his vows with people.
But as I started having my first family, I realized that his words would be important.
So when he started talking about his vow, I had to be honest about it, too.
I realized, You have to make your vow with the best of intentions.
You have no choice.
You just have to go ahead and make it.
If you’re not doing it for yourself, you’re doing it on the condition that he’ll be happy and it will make him feel better.
In this way, the vows help to build trust and build a relationship.
I was still struggling to decide if my boyfriend could make a commitment to me, but by that evening, I was ready to share what I was feeling.
“When I was a kid, my dad would ask me, ‘What is your dream job?’
But what was the hardest part of his vow to make? “
I started talking to my boyfriend about the things I was passionate about, and he was happy to share those passions with me.
“That’s not the only part.” “
He said, ‘I’m not doing this for myself,'” I said.
“That’s not the only part.”
For me, that was a little scary.
I wasn’t sure if I was in control of my relationship with my boyfriend.
When I asked him if he was making a promise, he was quiet.
“Yeah, I just want to say that I’m making a commitment,” he confessed.
“And I love you.”
He was really happy to have me promise it.
I couldn’t say that.
I could only be a good husband.
I knew I couldn and should have kept the vows for myself, but to be in control was important.
We still didn’t know if he would keep his promise or not.
But the vow helped me to think about my husband.
My wedding vow was not a simple commitment.
I wanted my husband to know that I had no idea what he was doing, and that I wasn.
I want him not to feel obligated to keep my vows for me, because that’s not what my vows are about.
But I did want to keep it a secret from him.
I did also want him know that he had no control over what he would do or how